i have not written in a week and some of you may have noticed and some of you probably did not notice my absence. i cannot really explain it except to say that i get in a funk (if you do not understand “funk” then use urbandictionary to find out) and i have trouble writing anything, unless it is depressing poetry.
i was really down about my living situation. It is difficult for me to live in a mess. It has also been hard because of the meals that i am served. Most of them are frozen food and the lady cooks them early in the morning and leaves them in the oven all day. Every day at school my classmates can hear my stomach growling from the greasy matured meal that i ate the day before.
Sleeping is another problem here. The madam often stays up late and wakes up very early, even on the weekend, or i should say especially on the weekend. On the weekend she is preparing my frozen dinner as the roosters crow. Perhaps she heard the proverbial saying “The early bird gets the worm.” i am afraid i will get the worms too, but from the twice dead fish that i eat.
Another reason for feeling down in the mouth (is that the right expression or is it down in the foot) is the studying of the French language is difficult. i thought i would be doing better than i am thus far. It is very hard to speak, but at least my reading comprehension and vocabulary are stronger. Yes, i forgot about listening because the French people speak quickly and it is difficult to get my mind to work that fast.
And finally, i am lonely. There i said it. It is strange for me to tell people “i am lonely” or any other feeling that i might have except for anger and extreme happiness because those two are hard to contain.
This is has been the hardest adjustment that i have ever made in my life. This is the first time i am completely alone in a foreign country. i do not know anyone. Not one soul. Of course i know some classmates, but that is different. i mean that i do not have any friends, real friends, the kind that takes time to build. The kind of friend that i can share my real thoughts with and feel accepted.
But on the bright-side, i am in Lyon, France. i can walk into a bakery and get the most delicious pastries and fresh hot baguettes. After i buy my baguette, i rip into it as i am walking out the door. i can eat the whole thing before i get home, but i usually contain myself, a bit.
Today, it was a great day because i went to look at another “family” to live with next month. The madam is quite nice and her flat is situated on the Rhone. The balcony faces it. The room that i will occupy is a little larger than my current room. She cooks the meals after she returns home from work. She is a professor of French. There are two other students living there, but i did not meet them. She has had over 100 students living there since she started sharing her home. And she even has a dryer, the kind that uses electricity, the one that goes around in a circle motion and dries the clothes without hanging them. She has a lot, i mean a lot, of books on the shelves, so i can read French books without buying them. The meals are served between 6-7 and they eat together, unless they have something else to do. And she has a dryer.
So i am looking forward to this move and new adventure.
more to come…