Uncertain Future Again

Hello friends and otherwise.

Sorry, i have not written in a long time because i have been thinking, thinking about my future, my past, but mostly my present situation. Uncertainty about my future stresses me out, so i sort of check out from the world. As you know i am living in Lyon, France. i am studying French for a year. When i moved here i had some hope that i could make a life here, in France, not necessarily Lyon, but it seems that i was wrong.

i have been living in Europe since 2001 and the world has changed a lot since that time. At that time, i could teach English with a TOEFL Certificate and some college, but not a degree. i was too impatient to finish college and wanted to live life doing creative things, but as i look back i sort of wish i had finished. i have tried many jobs during my lifetime, but none of them really stuck with me. i enjoyed teaching, but sometimes the kids were too much for me. It might have been the school that i taught at in Hungary. It totally lacked strong leadership and disciplinary action.

i cannot get a job cooking because i do not have a degree in cooking. i had hoped that i could go to cooking school here in France, but i will never have that much money, so that is a dead hope. i wondered too if cooking school would be right for me, but i can say without a doubt, i love to cook. i love when people take a bite and express some pleasure in my food. i wanted to learn cuisine and pastries because i enjoy both of them.

i think i would be good at writing for a sitcom too, but that would be another impossible dream. Actually, writing things that make people laugh is my favourite thing to do, unfortunately i cannot make money doing it.

So, now i am learning a language that i will not need, but learning a language is never a total waste. i have decided to enjoy the rest of my time here. i was really stressed out in the beginning because i had hoped for a future here and put a lot of pressure on myself. i do wish i had more money to travel around the country before i leave because it will probably be the last chance to see it. i am not one for going back to places that i have lived.

School will end around the end of June and my visa ends at the end of August. i have somewhere between the two to make a decision. i feel like i am in the same position that i was in one year ago. i need help. If anyone has a suggestion for me, then please write me. If you know of a job or something useful to direct me, then write me here or at my e-mil address. iamoceanbabin@gmail.com Thank you.

Other things that are going on here in Lyon.

We have a new roommate. He is from Japan. Yes, it is a boy, which i wished for when the other roommate left. Be careful what you wish for because it might come to fruition. i had forgotten that boys stand up to piss. Yes, i am a boy too, but i sit. Have you ever pissed with shorts on? It does splash onto your legs. Disgusting. He leaves the toilet seat up and i forget to check it sometimes if i am half-asleep.

The weather has been nice and then it has been not so nice, but at least we do not have terrible snow storms to deal with as Hungary did this past week. Below are some photos of the snow we had in Lyon this week.

DSC_0069 DSC_0070 DSC_0071

more to come…

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5 thoughts on “Uncertain Future Again

  1. I am sorry to hear the disappointed tone in your writing. My advice is that you come to Longmont and try to make money cooking in restaurants. Boulder just won an award for being the “foodiest” city in the US – meaning that it beat out NYC, Chicago and Los Angeles. Plus, in the US you won’t have to worry about immigration offices and visas and stuff like that.
    I hope you will enjoy the rest of your time in France. Greetings from Eger!

  2. Hey Anett. Thank you for the advice. There are not many things left that i want to do, except find a career.

  3. Pingback: Moving On | A Tribute to a Lifetime of Original Artwork

  4. I’m understand your feelings, I feel the same way a lot, but the only thing I got is the faith in life. And I can not tell you why. But if I do, the magic will disappear. Try out things that you have never imagined before. But not the crazy way šŸ™‚
    Like surfing, bunji jumping,fishing, dancing or whatever you like to do once in your life šŸ™‚
    I wish you the best, and even more šŸ™‚

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