i have been home almost a week now, but i am still in pain from my unexpected surgery.
On Monday evening after i ate dinner my stomach started hurting. It was a severe pain that i was not familiar with from my previous three surgeries. i tried to take some medicine, but it did nothing to alleviate the pain.
Nick decided that i must go to the emergency (r. what does the r stand for?)
They took a lot of information, then wheeled me away to get checked out. The doctor came in quickly and said blah, blah, blah, blah and we need to do a surgery on you. Seriously, all i heard was the surgery part.
As i was going under i realized that i was alone. No one was waiting for me on the other side of this operation. In fact, i went through all my operations alone, except the last one there was someone waiting for me, but i was alone when it mattered. i was alone when i was put under, which is a scary feeling.
Next morning, i woke up in pain, but i was in a beautiful room, so i thought that i might be in heaven, but the pain clued me that i was possibly in a really nice hell and as with real life, i was alone in hell.
It seems, as far as i can remember, that i had something (maybe scar tissue) blocking my intestines. It basically killed a part of it. So the doctor cut away the scar tissue which was a lot and tried to cut some of my colon (i think that is the right word) away that had attached itself to my previous scar area. She was not exactly successful, so she sewed the intestines together and decide to take out my appendix to be a little preventive. She is hoping i won’t need future surgeries now.
That is what i gathered from the gossip trail that i was fed through my I.V. by the nurses.
Now i am at home healing. Nick and Rosemary have been trying to take care of me. It is not been easy because most things are not appetizing to me, especially things that have sugar in them. Rosemary has been very helpful in getting me better because she prepares good food and makes sure that i take my medicine. i am fortunate to have a good friend at this time.
Today, i got my staples out, but i lost a lot of weight and will need another month out of school and work. Dr. Denise Miller is a great doctor. i am grateful to her for giving me advice and being honest that i cannot fix this problem.
For now i need protein, a lot of it, also stop eating food that does not digest, like corn and patience to get better.
When i heard that i needed surgery, all i could think was that i did not want to die, which is an unusual thought for me. My reason for living was the thought that i would never talk to my best friend Tamas again, but after i realized that he does not know and does not care what happened to me. It seems strange to think i could have died and i would have been alone. i have not felt that way since my first surgery.
So, yes i am down mentally, but who knows what tomorrow will bring. My life is filled with mysteries.