It will never be the best day of my life. One year ago today i started studying at Escoffier School of Culinary and i also lost my best friend at the same time.
Yesterday was very tiring, but mostly from my thoughts. They attacked me in my sleep, as i woke up and then throughout the day. i remembered the long journey that it took to get me to this day.
i remember first applying from Europe, my best friend telling me it is what i should do, leaving Hungary on a plane, wondering if the plane would crash into the ocean and then a shark would eventually eat me, arriving to Denver, starting school, watching strange girls fight in my class, losing my best friend ever, going to school in a daze, being sad, wishing i could die, going to the hospital for an emergency surgery, waking up and wishing i had not, Nick and Rosemary trying to feed me, spending a lot of time alone, staying at The Batchelor’s house, starting school again with a new group, going to a farm where bees sting, getting to know my new classmates better, starting to like some and not caring about others, taking a final test, starting a new job at Brewing Market Coffee as the pastry chef and preparing macarons for the culmination meal yesterday. Whew!
It is funny that i ended up making macarons at the end because i started with them and it was one of the reasons i went to Auguste Escoffier School of Culinary Arts.
Thank you to all the people who helped me complete this school, although technically i will not graduate until i finish the externship.
Thank you to Pal, Tamas Karoly, my best friend ever, who believed in me and yet he disappeared without a warning.
Tim and Carol, for flying me here.
Bodi, the great Bodi and Mark K, the fashion model, both for financial help.
Two anonymous donors, for financial help too.
And all the supportive words from all my real friends over the past year.
And to Nick and Rosemary, for inviting me to live with you in your home and for taking care of me, even when i did not care and for not completely giving up on me. i love you both.
A few photos of the day: https://www.flickr.com/photos/101289268@N03/
i survived the second to last day of pastry school at Auguste Escoffier School of Culinary Arts. It was a hell of a day. We had to make three kinds of macarons for tomorrow.
The bacon maple macaron looks nice and taste good.
The cassis macaron does not have cassis in it because the school messed it up. We ordered it a week before and it never arrived to our kitchen. i asked for it each day. i even ran to a corner shop to find a bottle of creme de cassis and the lady told me, “No, not here. Find big shop.” i was so angry at the school because this is not the first time they screwed up. We will have blueberry macarons.
The third one was pistachio, which should be the easiest, but was the most difficult. We did not have enough pistachio paste and we did not have any pistachio flour, so we had to make it. The cookies looked a little flat in the pied part it and the buttercream took about three attempts to get it right or close enough.
My partner, my poor partner had to endure my bumbling errors. She was patient during the process, but i bet she wished she had not helped me with these frustrating little cookies. Now i understand why most classes do not make them for their bake sales.
Only 2 days of school left. It is all coming to an end. i am ready for it all to end because i am very tired. Life is not the same for me. i hate it more than ever. i miss my best friend every day.
Today i was happy that the day ended without any pastry students killing each other and the other male in the class gave me a pin that the group received for not missing a day for one week. My group never achieved the pin because at least one person missed a day each week. The pin is a sword, well actually a knife, but i can pretend.
i also helped my classmates make cupcakes and chocolate pralines and truffles. i love chocolate. Every time we use chocolate someone says, “Ocean you have chocolate all over your face.”
And another nice thing i heard today was, “Ocean i am going to miss you.” i make some people laugh in school.
The longer i am in my new class at school, the more i see how bossy some people can be towards others. i do not understand bossy people. If you are thinking about going to culinary school, then beware of the bossy people. They come out in packs.
On the bright side, almost all things came out great. Even when there are failures, we can learn something from the chef.
i was team leader, but i let the group make their desserts and i helped in the background. i also baked some ciabatta because i wanted to practise it for my possible future job.
i read the first chapter in 8 Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery. Now, i understand why i have so much trouble with eating. i literally cannot decide what to eat, so i skip meals. The book was recommended to me. i would recommend it to anyone who has suffered from trauma.
Today i was successful in making a torta. A torta is a European cake, which means it is denser, less sweet and better. It is great to have torta with a small coffee. i was very nervous because i hate cakes and i felt i had a 33% chance of accomplishing the task.
When the class and teacher complimented me and told me it was great and moist; i was happy. i was unhappy that someone took the pieces i saved to take home.
Three days in a row without a failure. i am getting nervous.
Today was my first day in the kitchen since my surgery. It was a great first day. My new classmates are friendly and helpful. i made Brazilian brigadeiros from our Latin American section of the course. They came out great. i even went a little experimental and rolled a couple in espresso. It was my favourite. i also made a perfect Swiss Meringue in a hurry for our team leader.
Yesterday, our chef took us to a local farm in Boulder. Jacob Springs Farm was interesting and by interesting i mean hard work. i got stung by a bee and now my knuckle is swollen. i wish it (i forgot to check the sex, but i think it was a girl (or lady) bee) had done it on my lips or ass.
We arrived a little after noon, the owner, Andre Houssney, showed us around his farm. He put us to work in the field, but then i went with him to work with the bees. The bees were amazing. i was very happy working with them and learning from Andre. He is very knowledgeable about them.
i now have an admiration for the farmer. They work hard to bring food to this ball of mud.
more photos of the day:https://www.flickr.com/photos/101289268@N03/
This is a video of Andre talking about farming and why he does it.